Make a million bucks!

a rusty old tractor in black and white

It’s Friday evening, I’m feeling generous so I’m going to teach you how to make one million South African Rands, guaranteed. No jokes, this will absolutely work for anyone.

Okay, R1m is not the fortune it was when I was young. Back then the idea of having a million seemed more unattainable than R1 billion today. Perhaps that’s because back in 1980 having R810,000 would have been the equivalent of having US$1 million.

In 1980 the exchange rate was 81 South African cents for every dollar. Today the exchange rate was R16,54 per US dollar. Maybe that’s why money seemed to be worth so much more 40 years ago.

Today, R1m (1,000,000) is valued at US$60,422 and R1 billion (1,000,000,000) is US$60,4m (60,479,189).

The earning power of South Africans has diminished dramatically in four decades, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be in the running to make that R1m. Here’s how you do it.

Start off with a job earning R8,333,33 per month. This is important. It must be exactly R8,333,33. Work for one year and you will have earned R100,000. In 12 months your payslip will show you have earned that six-figure income. You still with me here. This is the part where it gets real, you just need to concentrate.

Keep doing this for exactly one decade. If you can manage this, to keep it going for ten years, then at the end of just that one decade you will have earned R1,000,000. It is that easy.

Making a million is very, very easy. It takes nothing but an average income and time. Having a million bucks, that’s something else entirely.

By the time your taxes are paid, transportation, food, accommodation, clothing and other expenses, it is likely you’re lending money rather than saving it – which explains South African indebtedness. In 1980 it was at the lowest level in the last 50 years – 40.3 percent of gross income. It currently stands at 72.8 percent as at 2019, after peaking at the highest rate of 86.4 percent in 2008.

Saving is a vitally important part of economic activity, without the ability to save certainly there is no money for brand items, big screen TVs, holidays and other luxury items. That’s not the problem. The problem is that there is no money for education, for healthcare or retirement.

These last three place a tremendous strain on government funds, as citizens then become dependent on government for these things (sound familiar) and with such a strain it impacts service delivery for that which traditionally has been expected of government (sound familiar)?

On a final note, a spoonerism is when you mangle the words in your sentence. For example, “a nosey little cook” rather than “a cosy little nook”. The spoonerism is named after William Archibald Spooner, Oxford don and minister, who apparently managed this mangle on a regular basis.

Author: Morné Condon

Automotive journalist in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, following new models, old cars, car clubs and motorsport. My interests are not restricted to the automotive environment, although this is where I am mostly to be found.

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